I want to touch and be touched

I want

to touch

and be touched,

to hold

and be held,

to caress

and be caressed.

I want to communicate,

exchange ideas,

                        feelings,

                           dreams,

                               memories,

talk and listen,

understand and be understood,

give and receive

    advice,

        encouragement,

             empathy,

                  criticism.

I want to play,

                       dance,

                                  explore,’

                                               travel,

                                                         kick back,

                                                                         rejoice.

I want to be sexual,

to give and receive

sexual energy.

The more you are turned on,

the more I am turned on.

I want to be close

           and

                    free,

to know that I am in relationship

because each of us

wants

          to be

                  in relationship,

                     here and now.

I do not want

either of us

to feel coerced,

     pressured,

           or manipulated

into being together.

I want to be together only

if and when

we truly want

to be together.

I do not want to be with you

because I am afraid

that if I do something else,

you will leave me,

      or get angry,

           or be hurt.

Nor do I want you to be with me

for any

of the same reasons.

I do not want to be dependent on you,

and I do not want you to be dependent on me.

I am not yours

and you are not mine.

I do not want to be devastated

if you leave me,

nor do I want you to be devastated if I leave you.

I am not responsible for your pain

or pleasure

and you are not responsible for mine.

I want to be able to live a full life without you

and I want you to be able to live a full life without me.

I want to be free to have other close relationships,

be they physical or otherwise.

And I want you to have the same freedom.

I want to overcome my jealousies,

And I want you to overcome yours.

I do not want to be expected to reveal everything to you,

nor do I expect you to reveal everything to me.

I’ll give you my heart,

but not my soul,

and you can keep yours too.

I want to make decisions together,

out of equal power

with mutual consent.

I want to be your lover,

not your boss,

or your slave.

I want to maintain my commitment to my work,

my people,

all people,

the stars above.

And I want you to be creative too.

I do not want to be your savior,

and I don’t want you to be mine.

I want to enjoy being alone when I am alone,

and I want you to do the same.

I want to know that you will often be there for me

when I want you,

but I don’t expect you to always be there,

and don’t want you to expect that from me either.

I want a touchstone, not a prison.

I want a commitment, not an obligation.

I want to love

and be loved.

                                                                                   Wade Lee Hudson

                                                                                   San Francisco

                                                                                   1984