America’s Celebrity Complex

The glorification of celebrities disempowers ordinary people. We learn to believe that success requires being widely recognized for some remarkable achievement.

Children are told, “You can be anything you want to be.” The latest trend in schooling is to give all students a “You Are a Winner” badge regardless of their performance – because if one is not a “winner” one is a “loser.” And losing is terrible (supposedly).
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My grandfather raised me to be a professional baseball player. I was not only convinced I would play in the big leagues. Until I was thirteen, I was certain I would be first string shortstop for the New York Yankees. Once that dream was shattered, my mother repeatedly told me, “You’re going to be a great man,” which I took to mean that I would be so acknowledged by others.

As a young adult, I agreed with The Doors: “We want it all and we want it now.” During my 45 years of community organizing, most of my projects focused on unrealistic goals. these grandiose efforts did bear some fruit, often as unexpected byproducts. We shot for the moon and hit some stars. But like Don Quixote I tilted at windmills and fought unwinnable battles (though my opponents were real).

In retrospect, I feel this work was too ego-driven. Down deep, I really wanted others to consider me to be “a great man.” I was seduced by the dominant culture. In this regard, I am far from alone.

In “The Revolt of the Invisible Woman,” a New York Review of Books commentary on Claire Messud’s novel, The Woman Upstairs, Alison Lurie writes:

“The celebrity culture” now separates us into a privileged minority who are recognized as fully and triumphantly human, and a majority who are not.... The very title of the popular journal People implies that only those featured in it are real; the rest of us, by definition, are lesser, more shadowy beings.... 

Perhaps as a result of all this, today more and more of us seem to be afflicted by a kind of celebrity complex.... In advanced cases of celebrity complex, the afflicted persons feel that fame is necessary to self-esteem; if they cannot achieve it themselves, they may define and value themselves most importantly as fans.... 

In the past it was usually enough to be capable in your own life.... 

People with a celebrity complex...call attention to themselves through eccentric behavior, or volunteer to be humiliated on reality TV shows. Sometimes they manage to shove their way into the company of a celebrity.... Even apparently successful people can suffer from a lethal celebrity complex. 

When The Woman Upstairs begins, Nora has become convinced that she is a nonperson. She is not only oppressed by her own insignificance, but scornful of everyone who is equally cut off from fame.... In fact she is acknowledged and admired and thanked by her students and their parents, but somehow that doesn’t count.... 

For her, Real Life means being a successful, famous, and glamorous artist. Anything else, by implication, is unreal.... 

Without success and fame one is a nonperson.... 

At the top of the imaginary pyramid they all hope to scale are a lot of rich, ambitious, successful people whose dominant quality seems to be selfishness.... 

To fail and fall back into ordinary “mediocre” life seems a terrible fate.... 

He is also occasionally haunted by his provincial middle-class origins, and by fears that his beautiful only daughter, Marina, may not be “entirely out of the ordinary.”... 

Nora Eldridge is a kind of Madame Bovary for our time, someone who dreams not of romantic passion but of personal fame, in which the envy of the less fortunate figures importantly. ... 

Nora is like Emma Bovary…in the conviction that she needs the love of glamorous and important individuals to give her life meaning. In her world, … there are a few thoroughly nice people, but they are not famous, and thus not interesting or useful to her.... 

Only famous and special people are fully visible and human, and…the world naturally revolves around these persons.... 

She [Nora] still believes in and longs for fame, only now she is looking for another path to it, through rage:

You don’t want to know how angry I am. Nobody wants to know about that. I am furious at both of them—at the lie of their friendship, their false promises of the world and of art and of love…. No longer young, no longer pretty, no longer loved, or sweet, or lovable,…There’s no telling what I might do…. I could become the best-known fucking artist in America, out of sheer spite…. I’m angry enough to set fire to a house just by looking at it....

There have been many cases of friends of the famous who have turned into enemies, of fans who have turned into stalkers. Like deranged, disappointed lovers, these people have attacked those by whom they felt, perhaps justifiably, slighted or betrayed. They have invaded their former idols’ homes, stolen and destroyed their work, and sometimes done worse. As a result they too have achieved a kind of horrible notoriety. 

It is possible that Nora Eldridge will follow this downward path. After all, her last words in the book are a scary distillation of the plea, or demand, that anyone who desperately wants to become famous always makes to the world: “Just watch me.”

How many recent incidents of mass murder have been motivated by this kind of rage?

To let go of my desire to be acknowledged as a great person, I remind myself that there is no Savior. Neither I nor anyone else is the point. The point is the person or issue I face. That should be my focus: How can I serve others?

Our first question often is: Does this relationship meet my needs?

But when that question is the starting point, true love evaporates.

Being “selfless” does not require self-sacrifice. It merely requires less self -- being less self-centered than is the norm.

Everyone is both special and ordinary. All of us are like leaves on an enormous tree. If we stay humble, remember that no one really knows for sure how we should proceed, and trust the wisdom of crowds, we can accept ourselves for who we are and be satisfied with whatever contribution we can make. Fortunately the universe will take care of herself.

Then we can accept compliments like icing on a cake, rather than being addicted to the sugar.

In the meantime, I plan to listen more. When I travel, I may video interviews with folks and share links to edited versions on Wade’s Weekly and Reform-Wall-Street.org. Maybe we can gain some insights about how best to proceed by being better observers.

After a long sabbatical from organizing, I may become inspired to initiate another project and try to help attract participation in that project. Or, better yet, I’ll be invited to participate in a truly holistic community.

Or I may just focus on writing, photography, and video as ways to connect, inform, enrich, and inspire. Regardless, my driving force shall continue to be the pursuit of Truth, Justice, and Beauty – three sides of the same Reality. The experience of one leads to the experience of the other two. In my case, I hope that by finding more Beauty, I will better understand Truth and Justice, moment by moment.